Don't Let This Be You
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I've been considering these statements recently...especially when I'm at work, in my working bubble, planning out how much more work I'm going to do over the week, and how many art projects that I have yet to complete or start (#=many). Regret #1 is one that I ask myself every day.
I've been thinking about Raymond a lot too. I miss him. We shared a particular brainwave—one based on logic and rational understandings that have almost little to no clout in this world. It's amazing (well, more like mutual brain masturbation) to build on ideas on top of ideas and have IT ALL MAKE SENSE. We'll laugh about it because all kind of doesn't matter anyway. :) We had a quasi fake podcast in the works about our ideas. We called it "you can't come back. cuz why could you?" It's based on Regret #1—how if you did live balls to the wall, you would never go back to hiding your true self since you tasted liberation. (It tastes kind of nutty by the way.) Every time I talk about shit and I feel fucking great about it, little bits of our spirit explode together. I love you, man.
This was the last picture I ever took of Ray.
I took many shots until I got this one because it was perfect.
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